Winter Time

Wednesday, January 13, 2010 @ 8:39 AM;

2009

saw yan ru's post abt the reflection of 2009. so i decided to write one as well.. haha..

2009 was a very bad year for me.. everything screwed up..

jan to mar was still fine, wj had started working n i was at hm everyday or went to his shop to help out. we started to quarrel alot.. n his attitube towards me had change a little. but i know he still love me alot.. our hearts still tie to each other firmly n tie. we carry on like this until april my result of poly admission was out.

i failed to get into a poly. tats was the end of my world, my dream, my happiness. as i got no choice but to leave sg. leave everything behind. leave my frens behind, leave our dog behind, leave my family behind.. n leave wj behind.. everything of mine was left behind. they send me to airport on tat day i fly back to hk. also sending me to hell.

april to july i was in hk. really in hell. no1 will understand me or even try to talk to me.. all they know is scold n insult me. no1 give a damn abt me. even when i am in hospital. no1 actually visit me. i was all alone. the true feeling of lonely n helpless. i truly feel it during the 3 months when i am in hk. it is very scary. i broke down n went through alot of pain at that period of time.

n the best part is my 21st bday was in hk. lucky i still have shelly. she went all the way to hk juz for my bday. thanks shelly i will nv forget tat. u are the best!!! <3

my thinking had changed alot during tat period of time. i decided to have my own life. n tats when i know ck. n finally i got to come back to sg. the 1st thing i did was went for my knee operation, its not a presence exp. it was quite scary n painful after tat. i can never forgot how the tube attached to my fresh n bones. how painful it is to walk after the operation. even now, my knee was still not fine. get very painful sometime when i work. the sec thing i did after i came back was meet wj. i dunno why, dunno for wta reason.. i cant feel his passion anything, maybe i am angry, n too bz to get my own life? i dunno. we juz broke up. i was super sad.. i will cry suddenly when i think of him, non stop. for 1 or 2 hours. without his presence, a big part of me was missing.everything juz gone tgt with him. i cant take it. i really cant. i went out everyday to aviod thinking of him. n soon i got to know more frens. n start to club.

when i go club with all the drinks n music, juz make me feel happy n better. stress free. think free. sometime i will wonder wat am i doing in the club, for wat i am in there? giving away myself free?i feel like i am ruining my own life, ruining myself. but whenever i am upset, i just cant help but to run there.

soon at aug i started working. is kind of boring.everything work work work. the 1st 2 months is super stress, coz i took wat my boss say to heart. n now i learn how to wave them away. haha. anyway, it is sian ttm, one week only got one day off. n i still went out everyday after work. my mum was very angry abt it.

n i still club. tats y i get closer n closer to yr. haha. shld know her ealier. she is a nice gal. n got to know pei shan. wj gf now. haha. she is great. i like her alot. i wish them happiness. =] n i got to know qb. n during holloween i went to club with him. n this is how i know glenn!!! n soon i got to know qb's co. they are all fun ppl.

i started hanging out with the group. i has better life now. n after shelly finished her sec sch, she went back to malaysia n planning to go other country to further her study.. i am gg to miss u like hell shelly. u will forever be in my heart. i love u, u are more den my best fren. u are more den my sis. i will wish u good luck n have a bright future. i will see u soon! =]

yup.. this is how i spend my 2009. it was very bad until the later part it got better.

WingYin