can you hear me

how are you doing?

2010-06-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

hi. how r u doing? i guess u are doing great with her. happy n sweet. sometime i wish i can talk to u. tell u how i feel, how much i miss u. n i wanted to cry over ur shoulder. i guess this will nv happen.

i can still remember the day u leave me u said,"i knew u will know how to choose a guy who will treat u good now, i dont have to worry about u.."

yes.. i did learn how to choose the right guy, but i cant find any.

u were just too good to be true.
memories are just too beautiful for me to own.
u are just too prefect for me to let go.
i am just too sucks in moving on.

can i just tell u everything i feel?

i dun understand

2010-04-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

i really dont get it. whats wrong with going club? its just some kind of interest.. going club mean bad? what kind of logic is that? going there doesn't mean will get grind, is all depend on the girl. we girls can easily reject it. grind n dance with is quite a big different.. for what u all want to be so angry about it? making your fren's life so contradicting? she love u all she treasure u guys very much.. but at the same time cant she have her own interest? just coz u cant accept this "uncommon" interest n u got angry over it?

i seriously dont see whats wrong with it.. we always help each other in the club.. we 2 are perfectly fine.. dont u think u guys are over reacting? where is the right for u to dislike this, while u dun even trust her? how long she had been your fren? n u are now saying that she changed? yes.. she did.. she changed her interest lor.. thats all.. please give her your trust, trust her as ur good friend. u shld know her well.i am not trying to make things sound nice.. i am just telling the truth.. coz i am always there with her.. yes.. she did grind.. grind me lor.. please wake up.. y u all wan to put her in such a difficult position n make her so miserable..

i am very affected by your word u point of view abt us, ur lack of trust.. but she is one million time more affected by me.. u should know why..

2009

2010-01-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

saw yan ru's post abt the reflection of 2009. so i decided to write one as well.. haha..

2009 was a very bad year for me.. everything screwed up..

jan to mar was still fine, wj had started working n i was at hm everyday or went to his shop to help out. we started to quarrel alot.. n his attitube towards me had change a little. but i know he still love me alot.. our hearts still tie to each other firmly n tie. we carry on like this until april my result of poly admission was out.

i failed to get into a poly. tats was the end of my world, my dream, my happiness. as i got no choice but to leave sg. leave everything behind. leave my frens behind, leave our dog behind, leave my family behind.. n leave wj behind.. everything of mine was left behind. they send me to airport on tat day i fly back to hk. also sending me to hell.

april to july i was in hk. really in hell. no1 will understand me or even try to talk to me.. all they know is scold n insult me. no1 give a damn abt me. even when i am in hospital. no1 actually visit me. i was all alone. the true feeling of lonely n helpless. i truly feel it during the 3 months when i am in hk. it is very scary. i broke down n went through alot of pain at that period of time.

n the best part is my 21st bday was in hk. lucky i still have shelly. she went all the way to hk juz for my bday. thanks shelly i will nv forget tat. u are the best!!! <3

my thinking had changed alot during tat period of time. i decided to have my own life. n tats when i know ck. n finally i got to come back to sg. the 1st thing i did was went for my knee operation, its not a presence exp. it was quite scary n painful after tat. i can never forgot how the tube attached to my fresh n bones. how painful it is to walk after the operation. even now, my knee was still not fine. get very painful sometime when i work. the sec thing i did after i came back was meet wj. i dunno why, dunno for wta reason.. i cant feel his passion anything, maybe i am angry, n too bz to get my own life? i dunno. we juz broke up. i was super sad.. i will cry suddenly when i think of him, non stop. for 1 or 2 hours. without his presence, a big part of me was missing.everything juz gone tgt with him. i cant take it. i really cant. i went out everyday to aviod thinking of him. n soon i got to know more frens. n start to club.

when i go club with all the drinks n music, juz make me feel happy n better. stress free. think free. sometime i will wonder wat am i doing in the club, for wat i am in there? giving away myself free?i feel like i am ruining my own life, ruining myself. but whenever i am upset, i just cant help but to run there.

soon at aug i started working. is kind of boring.everything work work work. the 1st 2 months is super stress, coz i took wat my boss say to heart. n now i learn how to wave them away. haha. anyway, it is sian ttm, one week only got one day off. n i still went out everyday after work. my mum was very angry abt it.

n i still club. tats y i get closer n closer to yr. haha. shld know her ealier. she is a nice gal. n got to know pei shan. wj gf now. haha. she is great. i like her alot. i wish them happiness. =] n i got to know qb. n during holloween i went to club with him. n this is how i know glenn!!! n soon i got to know qb's co. they are all fun ppl.

i started hanging out with the group. i has better life now. n after shelly finished her sec sch, she went back to malaysia n planning to go other country to further her study.. i am gg to miss u like hell shelly. u will forever be in my heart. i love u, u are more den my best fren. u are more den my sis. i will wish u good luck n have a bright future. i will see u soon! =]

yup.. this is how i spend my 2009. it was very bad until the later part it got better.

=DDD

2010-01-06T04:12:00.000-08:00

“ with every moment we share, every smile, every touch, i become more certain that in you i’ve found something i’ve looked for a very long time. i don’t know what the future holds, but i do know how much your love excites me and how happy i feel when i’m with you. and from this day forward, that’s more than enough. ”

sec sch

2009-12-06T09:02:00.000-08:00

i seriously miss my secondary school life alot!! so relax n care free. i will live a different sec sch life if i could turn back time. i will not be wasting my time sleeping there for one whole day!! i will be walking around. playing. know more ppl. like yan ru. i am only closer to her right now. should know her earlier when we were still in jvs. come to think of it now. actually i miss alot of fun!! omg!!! everyone have colourfulk pages for their sec sch life. n mine is like quite blank la. not enough colour. give me another chance i will make it as colorful as possible.

n if i can turn back the time. i will not allow myself to make stupid mistakes anymore!!

my theory start to goes wrong!

2009-12-01T09:26:00.000-08:00

at 1st when i just break with wen jie.. i thought there will be no one else can bring me happiness. no one will going to catch me when i fall.. its not that no one willing to do the job, is no one able to do it. coz the way they catch will just make me fall harder. i tot no1 will going to care the way i wan anymore. until u appeared in my life. the way u love n care for me just perfect. you did help me to get back on my feet when i fall.

love is being stupid together, becuase when you choose to be in love with this person, means you choose to give him/her the chance to hurt you, make u sad. but of because you also given him/her the chance to print your life with lots of colourful paint, bring u unlimited happiness n love. n after all even all the sad things tat happened, they will all be sweet memories. n i am willing to be stupid n give you this special pass. sound stupid? haha

i am glad that u bother to contact me after that night. =] n you all already won all the battles!! i am all yours. it just the matter of time that i will be offically yours.

look in my eyes, you will find me. look into my heart, and you will find you!

"a guy out there are meant to be the love of your life. your best friend, your soul mate. the one you can tell your dreams to.

he will brush the hair out of your eyes. send you flower when you least expect it. he will stare at you during the movies, even though he pay $8 to see it. he will call to say goodnight or just because he is missing you.

he will look into your eyes and tell you, 'you are the most beautiful girl in the world.'

and for the first time in your life you will believe it"

taken from tw

full time or part time

2009-12-01T09:10:00.001-08:00

2010 is coming soon. i shld study part time n work full time or study full time n work part time? i think study part time n work full time is the best. i can continue to catch up my manicure skill n yet i can get my diploma. the manicure skill is not smth i can stop for years den pick up again.. by den will be too late? coz there is so many things to do!!! ah bing had been learn this for 2 years, n yet she is not really pro.. irene had been working for 7 years to be so good!!! n in between they nid to pick up new stuffs n skill. i like this job. i wan the skill.

but if i can get into nursing, den i will got no choice but to give up this job. maybe working as a part time? coz nursing is all i want.

wat is the meaning of mature? mature muz be behave like "office lady", smile/laugh with small action.. be calm n quiet.. no much rubbish?? i really dunno. i really dunno how to be mature.. tats just not me! i admit my behave is childish.. for wat being so serious all the time? ya.. i am childish....................

better

2009-11-13T06:06:00.000-08:00

ytd night was wonderful! i always enjoy spending time with u. i think i am getting more n more obessed with u. i hope u feel the same way too. =D

090909

2009-09-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

supposingly i shld be very happy today. everything will just ruin whenever we talk on phone, he seem to dislike all my jokes. take all my jokes very seriously. i think we are having a very big prob on our communiation. even when i am talking normally he can think tat i am shouting at him. he can always say until i am the bad person den in the end ask me y i dun wan to talk anymore. what shld i say? u can always pick on my words n twist my meaning. i dun have much time with u. everyday wishing for tat 1 or 2 hours to chat with u. but everyday end up pissed off, angry, upset, unhappy.....

so wat u wan me to do? look forwad to it? give myself some hope? n den fall hard? it just happen almost everyday.

i am sick n tired of quarrel.

same situation, same mistake made, same thing happened....

but,

different person, different reaction, different feeling....

equal,

different result, different outcome.

please help

2009-09-07T09:38:00.001-07:00

i am currently looking for this book super super urgly, please help! if u saw one, please contact me immidatily!!! thanks.

y are we always having small quarrels? i am sick n tired of it. how long can we last if we continue this way? we dun even have our honey moon period la. i wish we can be sweet n loving, not quarreling every few hours. i am upset.

my keyboard warriors

2009-09-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

hi to all my warriors. thanks for all ur support. hahaha. its lame n entertaining. hahaha.

anyway. ytd went to st james with all my darlings!!! its really funny, jitao super high. the best night i had!! haha. hope to have another night like this.

anyway i had started working, its kind of stress. i started the job only for one week. and frm knowing nth at all until nw i know abit. i know all the steps, but knowing n doing it pratically is totally 2 different things. i cannot file the shape well, i cant paint well, i cant cut skin. i wish i can do them well too. everyday i disappointed on myself, blaming myself for not doing a good job, blaming myself for taking so much time to learn. but i think again, i only started for a week. i am not geniues, how can i be able to do everything so well by juz knowing the steps n dun have much chance to practice? n only 1 week leh, before that i know nth. i really think tat their expectation is abit too high, not that i dun wna to do it well wat, i also wish i can start doin g customer so that i can earn commission n time can pass faster. i everyday sit there got nth to do like that while everyone is very bz. i feel very useless lor. hai. n tml i got to go work again. hope nth will goes wrong. sian.

hope i can get my pr. so i have a chance for nursing.

my theory is right

2009-08-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

i just quarreled with my mum n my sis. seriously i dont like the way my sis talk to me. she cant find her own contact lens n she called, told her idk as i didnt even touched it, and without a bye bye she just hang the call. who she think she is. treating me this way call good? talk to me with a black face n ask me to do this n that call nice? only talk to me nicely when my help is needed? this is really how she talk to me. maybe she dun realise it? i shld record n her see it next time. i dun like it. n who will like it? juz make some complains to my bf also cannot? i didnt even talk back when she talked to me in shld a bad manners. i knew that i may not be very good also. at least i wun order her ard n hang up calls without saying a bye.

yes. i love shelly. i know shelly well too. but y i dun know my own sis well? how can i know her while she didnt give me the chance? when i tried to talk to her, she gave me the feeling tat she dun wish to talk abt it? i wish i can share my happiness n sorrow with her like how i share with shelly too. after all she is my own sis, i do love her as much as i love shelly.

i am not hard to control, i just have my own thinking. i just wan to do n try everything when i am young. its impossible for me to do it when i am old or when i had a family la. i just wan my memories to be colourful, not just a few colour like those ppl who like to do thing law by law. of coz when i got a chance to study again i will put in my 100% percent. i will balance my study n play time. i seriously had my own thinking. as long as i didnt commit any crim. i dun wan a boring life. i didnt try to aviod anything.

ya. maybe i just dont worth to be living in this world.

there is no1 will always be there for u, coz no1 has the responsiblity. the only one who will be responsible is urself. no1 will gonna to catch u when u fall, no1 will gonna to help u when u are facing difficulties, no1 is gonna to pick u up when u brk down. this is reality. no1 except for urself.

so i will be fine alone, i will pick myself up frm the fall. coz no1 is going to help me, if u excepting someone to be there, u will just disappoint urself, n get urself to fall harder. i will gonna to stick to this theory if i dun wan to get hurt again. as i just got hurt frm a silly hope. i shldnt be having this hope at the 1st place.

Happy Birthday Shelly

2009-08-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Happy Bday Shelly!!! I guess this will be the last Bday i can celebrate for you. As you know, you are going to overseas and you dont plan to come back. I will try to give you a visit. Hahaha. But i will definely keep in touch with you. Forever you will be my best friend. It is actually a gift from god that I can have u as my best friend in my life. You are always so caring, considerate and nice to me. You are always here when i needed someone, you had never fail me or disappoint me. Just like my 21st Bday. You are more then a Best Friend to me. You had been though all sadness n happiness with me. My r/s problems, my family problems etc. You never fail to give me your support, you never fail to cheer me up. You grown up with me. I feel so blessed to have you Shelly. From the bottom of my heart, I LOVE YOU. Just like how I love my family members! You will be part of my life forever, don't try to step out, i will not allow that. HAHA.

Wanna see more? Go to my face book!

1st day

2009-08-04T08:16:00.000-07:00

Today me and Janice start working on the present. I think is not very well done, but never mind! is the tot that count! This present is filled with love n effort man!

This 2 are done by me!

This 2 are done by Janice.

Look!!! Tha table is so messy with all the materials!

Nice? made in wingyin!

When a wing yin is concentrating on her work = the most beauitful moment of wing yin. =x

Today happened to listen to a song written by xiao s. Song title is "For My Husband".

Damn sweet n touching la. Reminded me of how happy I used to feel.

Here is the lyrics.

我不需要名我不需要利

我不需要手段和心机

我只要跟你手牵手一起看电影

我只要躺在你怀里听你的呼吸

我不要华服我不要宝石

我不需要住在豪宅里

我只要每天缠著你听你说甜言蜜语

我只要紧紧抱著你闻你的气息

我不怕老我不怕死

我只怕活著的时候你不爱我

我怕分开我怕遗忘

我不怕跟你一起上天堂

I LOVE YOU

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

除了LOVE YOU还想说THANK YOU

谢谢你爱我谢谢你疼我

谢谢你在我这一生陪伴我

让我照顾你让我保护你

让我用尽全力去爱你

让我帮你剪指甲帮你拔眉毛

让我帮你把烦恼全部都赶跑

你是我老公我是你老婆

这是我做过最美的梦

我们要开开心心手牵著手

要相亲相爱走道人生的尽头

new blog

2009-08-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

WooHooo. Lets welcome my new blog. I love the back ground very much, thanks to janice. People who knows me well will know that i love polka dots. hahaha.

Today I went down to Orchard to get some materials for Shelly present. This is what we bought! I must start doing it tomorrow, as shelly bday is on this coming friday!! Making a booklet like this can takes few days man! Lets HOPE the present will turn out to be very nice, as you know, i am not really good in art. hahaha.

I will post the process up. To be continue....

This big bag contain alot of teasure inside! The present is all depend on this bag!

Anyway, few days ago i went to watch movie with YL & SS. The haunting dunno what. I jumped up quite a number of times! And I scare YL before the ghost scare him! hahaha. I am here to help UP to advertise. LOL. Like that confirm no1 want to watch le. haha.

I miss you n I mean it.

but I can't do anything while I am stucked.

A part of me is still waiting.

testing

2009-08-03T09:55:00.001-07:00

saf